i just want to breathe.............

on so many levels, you have no idea.....i hate when i feel sick and i get this bronco stuff in my chest......as if my head where not foggy enough all the time.....it now feels heavy and foggy and stuffy......maybe the mountain air isn't what i need......anyway i am here til allie finishes school....i have so much to do and no energy to do it....i hate when that happens.....so i am putting stuff in it's place as i see it....i have to hang the living room curtains today.....and they need to be ironed first.....but i found the pole that i need to hang them......i have been sleeping so much, but i think that when you don't feel so well , sleep might just be the thing you need.......i have to take all these stupid meds.....that i don;t even remember if i take right anymore......

i just want to feel normal again..........hahahahahahah that is funny......cuz why would i want to feel normal.....and what is it anyway....i need to get this house in  order.......and get allie settled at school.....i always have so much to do, even when i don;t feel like doing it.......

it's here again

Ok so I am gonna hafta, write in word cuz I keep losing stuff that I write…..i hate to write in word, it fixes grammar and spelling that I know is “WRONG’ but I know….it is wrong so it is not write…..and I have the rite to write you know……well I have my yearly bronco in the chest shit that I get every year between fib and march……I know when it arrives and I know what I need to do…..but this year they gave me steroids….and I have to say it is going away faster and I feel better…..cuz I was in bed for almost 4 days and did nothing but sleep……which I think I needed it…..or I would not have slept so long…….and I got the chill out…..it snows every morning and never sticks…..i like the country up here…..now I live in hilltop….and I am on the fucking top of the mountain….i feel like heidi, not to be confused with Heidi Klum……heidi who lived on the mountain with her old grandfather…….so I finally have real tv after being without it for almost 2 months……and didn’t have internet access for almost 2 weeks…..you can live without anything……ok, today I swore if I had any energy I would try to straighten out the studio…….but the day is young….