tuesday......

Ok so I am just gonna say this  I LOVE MY CHILDREN…….they are really great kids…..and no matter what all you fuckers out there think…..i raised them “right’ and they know the right from wrong…..and you know what side of the line you need to say on……you are my girls…..

A note from me all correct grammar and spelling is due to spell check…..i had nothing to due with it…..any hoo, I am working on the big book of sugarman’s check last blog for photos…..and the other day I happened upon a video of teehsa moore’s….real kool artist…and I am making my interpretation of what  I saw…..i am having fun doing this working on the floor in the living room…..i am making borders and I added pages from an old dictionary random house I think….i like dicktionaries……and the pages are sticking and peeling apart, and I love it all just part of the charm….why do ya think it is called raw edge studio, silly…

….any way off to sort through clothes and shoes……I wish I didn’t love the war-drobe that I have built over the years…..i have stuff I just can’t get rid of…..oh yes I can at the right price…..ok…..till later…

…and I just want to say that It is not fair in life that when one wants children so badly and had the hardest time getting them, and then having 2 taken away too young is just not right…..my heart is with you….i love you aunt marie and uncle al…..always have…..

good stuff

ok so you know this blog is the rant and what ever the fuck happens in my life....cuz, i moi, live one interesting and fascinating life....i am like the life style of the poor and infamous.....what can i say i was always an outsider.....never ran with the in crowd, i was the in crowd. that;s me at my daughter's graduation with my step grandchild......i am not ready to do granny and i don't know if i ever will be...but he sure is one cute guy.

so here i am in the new place did i tell you all that i moved to the projects in scranton, and everyday, i say to myself "self how the fuck did you wind up here" i don't know how but i know why and i will be here for another 3 years and then i have to get back to the city of my birth , somehow, someway, i have to get back to nyc.....but the good news is that my daughter finally got instate tuition today so we have to be here till graduation.......this is my bedroom still filled with bins and bags with my clothes.....i came from a 10 room house, with a finished basement and a room that just held my clothes and a huge studio space......to the tiniest 4 room apartment that ever was......god didn't i used to be a princess in another life........and i love my clothes, cuz they are not just clothes they reflect who i am and what i love and i have my own style.....and clothes are important to me.....i fucking love clothes......and i have some clothes forever, and we don't ever discuss all the clothes that i had from london, italy and paris, and that great shoe store ej robbins, that got ruined in a flood......one of the goals of the week is to get all my clothes in order and it is not easy........but i will do it and get rid of the clothes that just don't work for me anymore.....i like natural fabric, wool, cotton, linen, silk,...soft and easy, but black and punk, and with silver on them......i have no intention of every going back to work for corporate america, so i can get rid of what i call my stuffy work clothes.....although my work clothes were not as stuffy as some........

and then i have to get my studio in order......i hate moving, and yeah i have a lot of stuff, but that is because i always took care of the stuff that was important to me.......i will show before and after photos.......today i am going to work on setting up the bathroom, i got a new shower curtain and rug......ok will i don't have all that much to say today......except i am breathing a little easy and my beautiful daughter gets to stay in school......all is good.....

i just want to breathe.............

on so many levels, you have no idea.....i hate when i feel sick and i get this bronco stuff in my chest......as if my head where not foggy enough all the time.....it now feels heavy and foggy and stuffy......maybe the mountain air isn't what i need......anyway i am here til allie finishes school....i have so much to do and no energy to do it....i hate when that happens.....so i am putting stuff in it's place as i see it....i have to hang the living room curtains today.....and they need to be ironed first.....but i found the pole that i need to hang them......i have been sleeping so much, but i think that when you don't feel so well , sleep might just be the thing you need.......i have to take all these stupid meds.....that i don;t even remember if i take right anymore......

i just want to feel normal again..........hahahahahahah that is funny......cuz why would i want to feel normal.....and what is it anyway....i need to get this house in  order.......and get allie settled at school.....i always have so much to do, even when i don;t feel like doing it.......

de winter cough/throat/i can't breathe thing.......

anyway i said i would blog everyday and i meant it...but i was feeling under the weather.....went to the doctors i saw i thought i was in the office's of tweedledee and tweedledum.......but they gave me some meds, what else are doctors now except pill dispensers for major drug companies.....and here is the real fucking fact people.....people have wanted drugs since, fred rode dino........             

so anyway i have to stay creative, it is one of the only possible ways for to stay out of trouble, which i have no cause for, but seems to always have my name on it......so while i wist my days at sugarman's and let me tell you there is nothing sweet about it......no sugar, ahh honey, honey.....no none of that......i am making a JOURNAL/ALTERED/ART/SNARKY BOOK.....a few side notes.....i did not prepare any of the pages....so it is raw.....and i can only use stuff found at the market, which is like saying anything goes.....i am having a hard time getting color down, but will do the best i can.....it is interesting how many quotes and lines that you hear everyday came from.....and how thay changed over time and yet remain the same.......

so i am still up to my neck in boxes....how long .....i am going to go and work on putting my studio together together.....and the bathroom.....found a shelf i can use in there....i need narrow furniture.....and i got a kool all wood bookcase yesterday....and myer bought it home for me and i put books on it.....have to have books....so my books were the first thing to be put away....and i am still putting them away.....and i freak to think that i lost at least 4 book cases of books in a burst pipe incident that i really don't like to talk about......i couldn't even look, i had to just walk away......something that i am very good at.....walking away......going to go be a productive member of society......oh yeah.....

it's here again

Ok so I am gonna hafta, write in word cuz I keep losing stuff that I write…..i hate to write in word, it fixes grammar and spelling that I know is “WRONG’ but I know….it is wrong so it is not write…..and I have the rite to write you know……well I have my yearly bronco in the chest shit that I get every year between fib and march……I know when it arrives and I know what I need to do…..but this year they gave me steroids….and I have to say it is going away faster and I feel better…..cuz I was in bed for almost 4 days and did nothing but sleep……which I think I needed it…..or I would not have slept so long…….and I got the chill out…..it snows every morning and never sticks…..i like the country up here…..now I live in hilltop….and I am on the fucking top of the mountain….i feel like heidi, not to be confused with Heidi Klum……heidi who lived on the mountain with her old grandfather…….so I finally have real tv after being without it for almost 2 months……and didn’t have internet access for almost 2 weeks…..you can live without anything……ok, today I swore if I had any energy I would try to straighten out the studio…….but the day is young….

almost done

ok, today we make the last run to the new place......tonight i sleep there.....last night a friend that i can always count on showed up moved my stuff for me at 10o'clock at night....i love when i do stuff with him, it is always like a dope deal down to we were with the uhaul, making cash withdrawals at the atm at 1:30 in the morning.......and you def know your in ghettoland when it is after 12 and people are walking their infants out at night.......god i am gonna need a big dog........next photos of the new place........i need to make a cozy home for myself.......